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- Staff
Our Staff
A carefully selected team of specialists, strategists, and liabilities.
Hired for their unique ability to advance SIGNET's hostile takeover of the modern man's wardrobe. Or at the very least, to justify our tax write-offs.
Merit made the shortlist. Nepotism made the hires.
THE BOARD
Ensure Shareholder Value Is Maximised.
THE INTERNS
Underpaid But Never Underdressed.
CHIEF TAX OPTIMISATION OFFICER
Keeps It Liquid. Keeps It Elsewhere.
MEMBERSHIP AND ACQUISITIONS
Currently Returning Video Tapes.
MARKETING DEPARTMENT
Builds The Brand. Buries The Budget.
THE SHAREHOLDERS
Collect Dividends. Avoid Accountability.
DIRECTOR OF OFFSHORE AFFAIRS
Based In London. Registered In The Cayman Islands.
PUBLIC RELATIONS
Controls What’s Seen. And What’s Believed.
HEAD OF LEGAL
Erases Liability. And If Necessary, Witnesses.
CLUBHOUSE DJ
Spins Records. Spins Narratives.
HEAD OF LIQUIDITY
Balances The Portfolio & The Pints.
SENIOR CHAUFFEUR
Opens Doors & Closes Deals.
MEMBERS PURCHASED
Suede Gilet
£180
Merino Wool Cardigan
£195
Hybrid Gilet
£130
Portfolio Gilet
£175
Corduroy Shorts
£85